


Grass Clippings

by Michael_Demos



Category: Les Schtroumpfs | The Smurfs
Genre: Based on a Tumblr Post, Bi disaster and Gay Panic, But that just makes it better, I realized halfway through writing that Timber’s thing is trees and not grass, M/M, Tree Bark, Version M Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-31
Updated: 2021-01-01
Packaged: 2021-03-10 22:13:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 2,904
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28454421
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Michael_Demos/pseuds/Michael_Demos
Summary: Grouchy is irritated with Timber, and goes to Cupid for help.
Relationships: Timber Smurf/Grouchy Smurf
Kudos: 6





	1. Chapter 1

Grouchy was irritated.

Okay, so that was pretty normal- he got irritated pretty easily- but this time it was different. All of his attention seemed to be drawn to one specific Smurf, leaving him dazed and distracted when he was around and flustered when he actually spoke to him and he _hated_ it.

Against his better judgment, Grouchy had gone to talk to Cupid Smurf.

* * *

_Cupid was grinning when he arrived at the disgustingly pink hut, and he saw a glimpse of Nosey scurrying away from the open window. Doubtless Nosey was on his way to find Gossip. He’d never hear the end of it._

_“Why, Grouchy, you’re finally here!” Cupid seized his arm and dragged him inside before he could change his mind. “I was wondering how long it would take!”_

_Grouchy yanked his arm back with a growl. “How long_ what _would take?”_

_Cupid chuckled and sat down in a comfortable-looking red chair, still grinning that insufferable grin. “Come on, Grouchy, who is it? I know you’ve fallen for somesmurf, and now you need my help!”_

_“I do not!!” Grouchy turned away, crossing his arms. He fidgeted, then muttered under his breath and turned back. “Timber Smurf.” Ignoring Cupid’s delighted gasp, he continued, “it’s been two months and I can’t stop smurfing about him! He’s in my head, with his stupid flannel and stupid smile and stupid_ muscles-“

_He broke off as Cupid squealed, and looked up to see the paper Smurf kicking his legs in happiness. “What?!” He demanded._

_“You’ve fallen in love with Timber!!” Cupid whooped._

_Grouchy lunged forward and slapped a hand over his mouth. “Not so loud,” he hissed, trying to ignore the burning in his cheeks._

_Cupid shoved Grouchy away, still grinning- if anything, the grin was bigger, and Cupid looked sly. “Weeeeeeeeellll?” He asked, stretching out the word. “What would you like me to do?”_

_Grouchy shrugged. “What do you_ _want_ me _to do?”_

_Cupid sat back in his chair, stretching, then said simply, “give him grass.”_


	2. Chapter 2

_ Grouchy blinked. “I’m sorry,  _ grass?”

_ Cupid nodded. “Yup. You know how flowers have meaning?” _

_ “No.” _

_ “Well they do. Grass just so happens to mean gay love.” _

_ Grouchy spluttered. “I’m not- I mean I- I just-?” He snarled, clenching his fists. “That’s not even a flower!” _

_ Cupid shrugged. “Suit yourself, but you’ve never even had a crush on Smurfette, have you?” _

_ Grouchy opened his mouth to argue, then closed it. Sure, he’d been secretly fascinated with Smurfette when she arrived- at the time, she’d been the only female Smurf in the village- but he’d quickly realized that it had just been the experience of having someone new. Smurfette was the only one he ever interacted with, too, so he  _ couldn’t  _ have had a crush on any other female. _

_ Cupid looked smug. “That’s what I thought.” He leaned forward. “Now, here’s what you do…” _

* * *

That’s how Grouchy found himself pushing a wheelbarrow full of grass clippings down the main village path, turning red at every look cast his way. His feet seemed to be moving automatically at this point, carrying him through the village to Timber’s hut at the edge of the forest. He  _ could  _ have gone the long way around, simply to avoid the staring eyes. However, the quickest way from Handy’s, where he’d gotten the wheelbarrow, to Gardener’s, to pick up the clippings- Gardener had been waiting outside;  _ how _ had Cupid told him so fast?- was straight through the main part of the village.

“Grouchy?”

Grouchy looked up, breaking out of his thoughts. He’d stopped right in front of Timber’s porch, and Timber himself was standing there, leaning on his axe with his sleeves rolled up and his hat pushed back, and  _ oh smurf _ he was smiling at him.

“Nope.” Grouchy whirled around, pushing the wheelbarrow away. Maybe he’d still have time to back out of this, and save himself the embarrassment. He could hide out in his hut until the all blew over-

He stopped. Why was he running away?! It was stupid, yeah, but even stupider would be walking away from the one Smurf that made him less, well, Grouchy! He clenched his fists around the handles, then with a yell, turned around again and started running.

He barely stopped in time to avoid crashing into Timber, who had stepped down from his porch to investigate. Before he could lose his nerve, Grouchy dumped the grass at Timber’s feet, took a deep breath, and yelled, “I LOVE YOU SMURFIT!!”

_ Absolute silence _ .

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay!! Who likes angst?!!


	3. Chapter 3

“Um-“ Timber began after a minute, and Grouchy tensed up. “Grouchy?”

_ (OkayI’msorryIdidn’tmeanitjustforgetIeversaidit-) _

“You know, grass isn’t really my smurfialty,” Timber continued, and Grouchy glanced up. “Trees are, you know?”

Timber was smiling. He wasn’t mad, he wasn’t shocked, he was- actually, he seemed to be  _ teasing. _

Grouchy glanced down at the grass clippings, a large pile spilling onto their feet, then back up at Timber, a small smile hovering on his face, and felt a nervous laugh bubble out.

_ Now  _ Timber looked surprised. Seeing his expression, Grouchy laughed again, and was rewarded with a chuckle from Timber. Suddenly, the other Smurf reached out and seized his wrist, and he was yanked down with a decidedly un-Grouchy shriek.

He popped up from the grass heap, beet red, to see Timber holding onto the railing behind him for support as he laughed. That prompted another laugh from Grouchy, and soon the two were collapsed on the ground, covered in grass, and laughing their tails off.

Until-

“See, Brainy? I  _ told _ you Grouchy had a crush!!”

All happiness gone, the Smurf sat bolt upright and stared in horror at the crowd that had gathered. Nosey and Gossip were at the forefront, along with a very scandalized Brainy.

“Grouchy?!” Brainy gasped. “What are you  _ smurfing?!” _

“I just-“ Grouchy tried, scrambling out of the grass. “It’s not what-“

One glance at Timber, and his grumpy demeanor returned. “What are you looking at, anyway?!” He got to his feet, brushing off the last of the clippings, and glared. “It’s none of your business!”

“Hey now,” Timber began from beside him. “Don’t be mean, Grouchy, it’s not Brainy’s fault-“

“That’s right,” Grouchy snapped. “It’s not his fault, it’s Cupid’s!!” He rounded on the shocked Smurf.  _ “You’re  _ the one who told me to dump grass on him!!”

Cupid stepped forward to protest, perhaps trying to stop Grouchy from doing something he’d regret. Grouchy was having none of that. “Don’t start,” he growled, fists clenched. “Don’t you  _ dare _ . _ ” _

He hated everything at that moment. He hated Cupid, he hated the crowd, he hated the hot tears of embarrassment threatening to spill loose and most of all he hated being  _ here. _

He ran.

* * *

**Timber:**

Grouchy loved him.

Grouchy _loved_ him.

Grouchy had risked embarrassment by showing his feelings to him, and enjoyed it, and let his guard down for once in his life, and Timber hadn’t been there for him when he’d been embarrassed anyway. What kind of a friend was he?

... _ were  _ they friends?

“Timber, any sign of him?”

Timber shook his head. “Nothing, Hefty.” Grouchy had run off, and before Timber had been able to follow everything devolved into a shouting match. Timber had agreed with Smurfette and Vanity when they said that Grouchy’s love life should be left alone, but Nosey and Gossip had apparently believed otherwise. In the confusion, nobody had seen where Grouchy had gone. When Papa and Gutsy had arrived to stop the arguments, they’d sent Hefty, Timber, and Smurfette to the fields and surrounding areas to find him.

Smurfette spoke up. “He _did_ get his feelings hurt back there, you know. Maybe he’s hiding to avoid it.”

Timber thought that was probably true, but he kept looking anyway. He wanted to make sure Grouchy was okay, make sure Grouchy had meant what he said, make sure that his laugh was real and true and  _ for him. _

(Honestly, he hoped it had been.)


	4. Chapter 4

**Grouchy:**

He was far away from the village by now, and his legs hurt. Had he run all this way?! He normally only ran this much when something really bothered him, like Azrael, or his birthday, or- yeah. The entire smurfing village finding out about his crush. Love interest. Whatever.

With a heavy sigh, the Smurf plopped down at the base of a cliff to catch his breath. Tilting his head back, he could see where the clifftop met the sky, and could almost imagine that he was looking down at the sea. He liked the water much better now that he could swim.

He added that to his mental list of “Things I Don’t Hate.”

On that list were Baby, flowers, and Timber. He would have renamed it “Things I Love,” except that it would have meant admitting he was in love. He hated admitting anything.

He felt like he should probably head back to Smurf Village, but decided against it. “Let them worry themselves for a few hours,” he muttered, getting up. “Serves then right for laughing.” With that, he turned and began to scale the cliff.

By the time he reached the top, he was out of breath again, and the air had gotten humid. A look at the sky told him that rain was coming. It suited his current mood- and anyway, rain always did have a way of washing his stress away. As the rain started to fall, Grouchy sat down on the edge of the cliff and closed his eyes. He almost missed it when Gargamel showed up.

“Look, Azrael, a Smurf!”

Grouchy leapt to his feet- or did his best considering he was on the edge of a cliff- and turned around. Sure enough, that awful wizard and his ever-hungry cat were looming over him. He was cornered.

“See,” Gargamel told the cat, “I _told_ you we’d find a Smurf! Why don’t you ever listen to me?”

Azrael, who looked thoroughly waterlogged and miserable, growled at him.

“Oh, sure,” the wizard grumbled, turning his attention to his cat. “When you have a good idea, we do what _you_ want, but when _I_ have a good idea, it’s always _stupid wizard_ and _that’d never work_ and _we’ll never catch Smurfs this way_ -hey, where did he go?!”

Grouchy had taken the opportunity to dart between Gargamel’s legs and was running as fast as he could in the opposite direction. He heard from behind him, _“get him!!”_ He ran faster.

Under a thornbush, through a hollow log, behind a tree, Azrael kept up with him. Didn’t this cat ever get tired? Of course, she _was_ bigger than he was, by at least three smurfs.

He swerved to the right to avoid a pounce, and found himself slithering and sliding down into a muddy ravine. Thankfully, he didn’t get hurt when he hit bottom, just dirty, and as he gazed up at the top he saw no sign of Azrael, he decided to try to get out.

Several attempts later, Grouchy looked like he’d lost a fight with a mud monster. “I hate mud,” he grumbled, sliding yet again down the steep, slick side of the ravine. To make matters worse, Azrael had reappeared, and was yowling triumphantly at the top of her lungs.

With a growl, Grouchy picked up a handful of mud and flung it at the cat. “Go away,” he yelled. Azrael yelped as the mud struck her in the face. She wiped it off, then narrowed her eyes at the Smurf.

Grouchy’s eyes widened as he realized what was about to happen, and he scrambled for a foothold in the slippery mud as Azrael sprang. He was flung unto the air and she came crashing down beside him, and landed a short distance away. Instantly, he was up again, running for his life- or trying to.

Azrael wasn’t having much luck either, thank smurfness, but once or twice her claws came dangerously close to him. The mud was too deep and slick for either of them to move effectively, and Grouchy considered calling for help.

Yeah, no.

He turned, floundering towards the ravine wall again, and this time was able to find a medium-sized rock. He pushed himself up, standing on top of the rock, and if he jumped he could _almost_ reach the top-

“Gotcha!!”

Grouchy gasped as the large hand seized him, and he was brought face to face with Gargamel. The wizard laughed triumphantly.

“Now I’ve got you, Smurf, and- ew, why are you all covered in mud? I can’t eat you like this.”

Grouchy noted that Gargamel’s “disgusted” face wasn’t all that different from his normal, evil one. He twisted in the wizard’s grip, and slipped out, but before he could get far, Gargamel gripped his leg. “Not so fast, morsel,” the wizard sneered, watching him squirm upside down. “You’re not going anywhere except back to my house where we can get ready for dinner!!”


	5. Chapter 5

_ “Hey!!” _

With a whoosh and a thud, a two-headed axe embedded itself in a tree, not an inch from Gargamel’s nose. He gave a high-pitched squeal and dropped Grouchy, and they both hit the ground with a thud. A glance around showed that Gargamel had knocked himself out, and that Timber was perched atop a log a small distance away. Grouchy shoved down his joy.

“Come on, Grouchy!” Timber waved his arms, and Grouchy scrambled to his feet- or he tried to. As soon as he put weight on his left leg, he sat down again with a gasp of pain. “I can’t,” he called.

Within a few moments Timber was by his side. “What’s wrong?” He asked, concerned. “Grouchy, are you okay?” When Grouchy didn’t answer, Timber looked down at his leg. “I can carry you if it really hurts,” he said.

Oh smurf he was close.

Timber was  _ very  _ close and smelled like pine needles and woodsmoke like he always did.

“Pfft- I'm fine,” he said, and laughed nervously. “Wh- who's Grouchy?”

Timber chuckled. “Aaand scoop!”

Grouchy was-

Grouchy was in his arms-

Timber was  _ carrying Grouchy,  _ and somehow Grouchy hadn’t melted into a puddle of Smurf goo yet. This was the most contact he’d had with anysmurf in years and of  _ course _ it had to be the one Smurf he’d fallen for. Timber was strong and fast and kind and  _ oh so muscular- _

“Smurfs help me,” he mumbled, red in the face. At least the rain was washing off some of the mud. It kept falling as they traveled in silence.

“So,” Timber began, “about what happened back at the village…”

Grouchy froze, clenching up immediately.

“Hey,” Timber said with a laugh, “no need to clam up! I’m not going to embarrass you, silly! It’s just us out here.”

Grouchy took a shaky breath, and for a long while didn’t speak. “I went to Cupid,” he admitted finally. “You were annoying me, always in my head, so I asked him what I should do about it.”

“The grass?” Timber asked.

Grouchy winced. “Yeah. It’s supposed to mean- well, it means-“

Timber shook his head sympathetically. “I get it. I like Cupid as much as any other Smurf, but sometimes he can be a bit…”

“Insmurfferable?” Grouchy offered.

“Enthusiastic,” Timber finished. “I followed his advice myself once,” he told Grouchy.

“Really?”

Timber nodded. “He told  _ me  _ to give flowers to the Smurf I had a crush on. I never heard back from the Smurf in question until today.”

“Flowers?” Grouchy wondered aloud, remembering Smurfentine’s Day the previous year. Everysmurf had gotten flowers or chocolates or cakes, but Grouchy had gotten a bouquet of his favorite flowers- bluebells- from an “anonymous admirer,” or so the attached letter said. Assuming it was a particularly mean joke, Grouchy had instantly thrown the flowers out and shut himself in his mushroom for the rest of the month.

“Those were from you?!” Grouchy realized, turning red again.

Timber nodded. “Of course they were, didn’t you recognize my smurfwriting on the letter?”

Grouchy buried his face in his hands. “No,” he mumbled, “I smurfed them out. I thought it was Jokey laughing at me.”

“Oh smurf,” Timber said, “I’m sorry. I should have delivered them to you on my own! That way you would have known earlier and we could have avoided that unsmurfy mess.”

Grouchy blinked, his hands falling away from his face as what Timber was saying dawned on him. “Wait-“

Timber slowed down as the River Smurf came into view. “Grouchy, I’m not good at this,” he admitted. “This whole  _ feelings  _ thing, that’s for Smurfette and Cupid and Weepy, and Smurfs like them.” He stopped for a moment, looking thoughtfully at Grouchy.

“I-“ Timber sighed, and started again. “I like- I mean, you. Just you like- gah!” He muttered something under his breath. “I give up.” With that, he tilted his head and kissed Grouchy on the cheek.

Grouchy’s mind went blank.

A few moments later, he registered that Timber was saying something, and blinked. “Huh?”

Timber’s mouth was covered in mud, and he was laughing. “That was not my best idea, kissing you while you’re covered in mud!”

Grouchy looked down.

Timber hurried to apologize. “No no no, don’t get me wrong,” he said, “kissing you was great! Ah- you were great. You  _ are _ great!! I’m just… not smart.”

Grouchy peeked at Timber’s expression, and smiled. “Thanks,” he said. “For… for kissing me, I guess.”

Timber grinned and kissed him again. “Thank  _ you,” _ he told Grouchy, “for the grass clippings.”


End file.
